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but Anne brought me some useful new furniture for the lounge area of the flat... a coffee table and a shelf unit... somewhere that i can keep my vinyl collection close to the record player. and i don't have to settle for a bass amplifier turned on its side with a board on top for its table top. nice.
and then Belgian Andy bought me a birthday beer... which went down well! after that, back home to clear up and to meet Heta to deal with some references i've been listing for her. and she gave me some dinner: macaronilaatikko!
no sooner had i finished that, than Anu turned up as arranged. we had a look at some YouPube stuff and then moved on to watching more Jethro Tull... which we drank some of her birthday present for me: a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream :)
it was good to see Anu and she felt the same too. she wanted to buy me a better present, but i was more than happy with the one i got: she says next year, she'll get me a better one (but, for me, her presence was present enough - and she knew that). she also knows that i fancy her (*blush*), and she doesn't seem to mind (prolly doesn't fancy me, though.. i'd be surprised if she did)! quite fond of her, really.
was a great evening, and that's because Anu saved my birthday!
well, here i am in kotka library and i feel about as pissed off as it is possible to get without wanting to kill oneself or someone else. my past three years have been largely dictated by an inadequately performing set of support services, under whose 'care' i have gone from a comfortable state of living to a very poor and uncomfortable state of existence. only Heini and Tuula really keep me going and give me any sort of happiness or joy in life.
i don't see any chance of finding work, even though i have skills and knowledge that would be absolutely beneficial in finland right now: i'm a very well-trained autism-specialist educational psychologist, but nobody wants to employ a foreigner in finland. suomi suomalaisille? fuck that!
not happy. not at all.
Nothing
Piditkö uudenvuodenlupauksesi?
I don't do those.
Synnyttikö kukaan läheisesi?
nope
Kuoliko kukaan läheisesi?
yep. my dad
Missä maissa kävit?
none
Mitä haluaisit vuodelta 2008 sellaista, joka ei onnistunut vuonna 2007?
get into research where Heini is
Mikä päivämäärä säilyy muistissasi vuodelta 2007?
27.2.07 and 13.6.07
Vuoden suurin saavutuksesi?
Finding Heini
...ja suurin epäonnistuminen?
finding work.
Kärsitkö vammoista?
Other people's fucking idiocies.
Mikä oli paras asia, jonka ostit?
can't say... didn't buy much.
Kenen käyttäytyminen ansaitsi kiitosta?
Heini- Ehdottomasti Davidin.
David- Absolutely Heini's
Kenen käyttäytyminen aiheutti ahdistusta?
Autismisäätiö and Kotka Vitutuspalvelut
Mihin käytit suurimman osan rahoistasi?
what money?
Mistä innostuit eniten?
dunno
Mikä albumi / kappale tulee muistuttamaan sinua vuodesta 2007?
Eels- Railroad Man
Eliott Smith- Say Yes
Crowded House- Silent House
Verrattuna tähän aikaan viime vuonna, oletko onnellisempi vai surullisempi?
Happier
...lihavampi vai laihempi?
dunno yet
...rikkaampi vai köyhempi?
much poorer, financially
Mitä olisit toivonut tekeväsi enemmän?
dunno
...entä vähemmän?
trusted the so-called professionals
Miten aiot viettää joulun?
with Heini
Jos voisit mennä ajassa taaksepäin ja muuttaa yhden hetken menneestä vuodesta, mikä se olisi?
En oikeastaan mitään.
Rakastuitko vuonna 2007?
Heini- Kyllä.
David- yep
Kuinka monta yhden illan juttua sinulla oli?
Thankfully, none.
Mikä oli mieluisin tv-sarja, jota seurasit?
House (with Heini, much of the Christmas break)
Vihaatko tällä hetkellä ketään, jota et vihannut viime vuonna samaan aikaan?
Not people, but things they did.
Mikä oli paras lukemasi kirja?
Arnold et al, 2005: Work Psychology - human behaviour in the workplace
...entä musiikillinen löytö?
Dunno yet
Mitä halusit ja sait?
Um.... Heini, actually.
Mitä halusit, muttet saanut?
Employment or further study/research
Mikä oli vuoden suosikkielokuvasi?
dunno
Mitä teit syntymäpäivänäsi?
nothing. was alone that day
Mikä yksi asia olisi tehnyt vuodestasi äärettömän paljon tyydyttävämmän?
Wasn't as lonely, because of Heini.
Miten kuvailisit vaatemuotiasi vuonna 2007?
College lecturer on his day off was my look....
Mikä sai sinut pysymään järjissäsi?
Heini, my wifey-thingie
Tuula, my daughter
Kenestä julkisuuden henkilöstä pidit eniten?
-
Mikä poliittinen puheenaihe säväytti sinua eniten?
didn't understand question
Ketä kaipasit?
Heini when she's not at home
Kuka oli paras uusi tuttavuus?
dunno yet... not sure i met many in 2007
Kerro elämänohje, jonka opit vuonna 2007.
in case work, don't trust other professionals... be the professional yourself!
Why do I feel so fucking suicidal everyday?
I'll tell you.
I have a support plan with Autismisäätiö. That is, they have a copy of one that was drawn up by an expert in autistic difficulties in adult life (she has a Diploma in Special Education, with this specialism). Autismisäätiö think they know better.
In three years, Autismisäätiö have taken me from a good position of being fairly independent, financially secure and reasonably well occupied to being completely dependent on them, totally financially insecure and uneployed.
It takes a special kind of incompetence to do that.
I also am an autistm specialist: I have a Master of Education degree in Educational Psychology, with a specialist field in autistic difficulties in adult life. I am qualilfied to conduct assessments, plan and evaluate interventions, research various topics of practitioner interest, conduct organisational evaluations and design training courses.
I am actually more qualified than the people who run the Autismisäätiö Kotka Unit.
Three years of me telling them how I need to be supported, and three years of being ignored... and now I feel suicidal... not because my life sucks (it doesn't: I have a beautiful daughter who brings me joy, and a fiancée who makes me happy even just by existing... both of these people I love incredibly deeply). But I am no nearer to any of the goals set out in my support plan than I was in Sept 2005, when the plan was compiled. I've tried very hard to comply with their wishes, but they have not complied with mine.
It is hard to find a good word for this organisation. Really hard.
And I can honestly say, I do not want them to go bankrupt or get blown off the face of the planet... I just want them to do their job properly.
It's depressing.
- Where?:my daughter's internet connection
- Feeling?:
depressed - Music:none... not even in my mind...
I can't be arsed with the places.
Reason: they don't respond. They don't want foreigners, it seems... at least, they don't want autistic foreigners.
Fuck them.
_________________
David N. Andrews M. Ed. (Distinction)
Educational Psychologist
Kotka, Finland
http://autspect.fi/education/page.php?id=1
http://autspect.fi/education/page.php?id=1
- Where?:at my ex's using my daughter's connection...
- Feeling?:
enraged - Music:none...
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- Feeling?: depressed
